What Do You Need This Week?

What is one thing you need to focus on this week?  Just one thing.  Do you need to figure out how to set some boundaries so you aren't running all the time?  Do you need to take some time to rest?  Do you need to eat better so you feel better?  Do you need some time with friends?  Do you need to spend intentional time with family?  Do you need to connect at a deeper level with God?  Whatever it is that you need this week, it is within your reach.  Take time to seek that one thing out, make time to pursue it, and before the week is over, know how you will achieve the one thing you need focus on, and then follow through and do it.  

Your Life

 

Make Real Memories

Make real memories 

With those you LOVE

Today!

Screen Disease

Make the time with your family a time actually WITH your family, not electronics. 

Disconnect when you are  together.

Anhedonia Epidemic

Can you lay your phone, iPod, tablet down for more than a few minutes?  Do you have to be continually checking your social media sites?  Do you need constant connection and noise?  Do you get easily bored?  Do you lack energy and motivation?  Can you be self absorbed, placing yourself before your family?  Do you lack critical constructive and creative thinking abilities?  Does it seem that your level of entertainment and excitement constantly needs to be at a higher level to keep peace in your home?  Do things that used to interest you no longer interest you?  Does your family face a critical level of boredom?  

There is a cause to these problems.  It is a condition that is running at epidemic levels in our society. It is called Anhedonia.  

I first learned of anhedonia two years ago when I took an online class from Dr. Archibald Hart.  He wrote a book called Thrilled to Death.  I would highly recommend this book to nearly everyone.  

Anhedonia is deeply affecting our society, our home lives, and our relationships.  Anhedonia is a destruction of the pleasure center in the brain that doesn’t allow a person to experience pleasure or happiness from the things of life that should bring us happiness and pleasure.

Anhedonia is now an epidemic level in our society because we think we need to be constantly connected, doing numerous things at once, and the need to be continually entertained.  Dr. Archibald Hart states that anhedonia affects at least 80% of the American public. 

Our need to be continually connected and always filling our brains with information, excitement, and images, is destroying the creative and critical thinking parts of our brain.  We lose our ability to have constructive thoughts, so much that we cannot think for ourselves but rely on the internet and social media for the ‘facts’ to base our decisions off.  We have lost the desire to think for ourselves, figure out situations and problems with critical thinking, and we often do not think through situations but go off what is popular on our social networking sites.  Unfortunately, for the most part, our feeding off of continual connection to electronic devices has stopped our rational thinking.  People think it is ok to threaten other people because they don't agree with them, and social media has escalated this new form of bullying.  

Our brains were not designed to be continually in motion. Our brains need rest.  They need relaxation.  They need to disconnect.  

“Today, we are certainly more informed as a people–more than any time in history. However, we are losing our ability to do anything productive with the information we have acquired, because of our propensity for pleasure-seeking activities–opportunities proliferated by growing numbers of digital devices.  It’s really like any other addiction.” ~Philip Telfer from his documentary “Captivated”

What are the affects of anhedonia?  We are a society that is stressed out, tense, on edge, unhappy, depressed, self-centered, disconnected, who has lost the ability to enjoy the simple things of life.  Think about these questions and answer them honestly:

When is the last time you sat down with your family and had a meal together at the table without continually checking your phones, or having music or the TV on?  

When is the last time you just sat at a lake and listened to the water, the birds, and observed all the nature around you and enjoyed the quiet?

When is the last time you  turned your phone and electronics off, and just truly relaxed?  Can you do that without wondering what’s happening on your social media sites?  

When is the last time you sat and talked with a friend without checking your phone every few minutes?  

When is the last time you went for a walk, without headphones in your ears?  

When is the last time you spent time just talking face to face with your kids or your spouse, all electronics turned off?  

When is the last time you felt real happiness and joy, and didn’t feel you were missing out on something or needing more to be happy?  

When is the last time you enjoyed a book, writing, photography, painting, drawing, something creative without a form of electronics involved, or next to you? 

If you are easily bored, have lost your creative edge, have a difficult time discerning right and wrong, feel numb emotionally, are overwhelmed with sadness, need to continually be connected to your phone or the internet, have lost interest in things you used to enjoy, don’t enjoy affection and have strained relationships, you are dealing with anhedonia.  

There are ways to overcome it, if you want to get your life back.  

First and most important, intentionally disconnect.  Take more time in your day to enjoy relationships, resting, and quiet time than you do on your phone, texting, and social media sites.  Enjoy real life, not a virtual life.  Play basketball with your kids, not a game on your phone.  Talk, in person, face to face, and build real, intentional relationships.  

Second, make sure to intentionally be quiet, rest, relax.  Our bodies and minds were not designed to go at the pace we force them to go.  Find ways to relax your body and your mind. 

Third, be creative.  Creativity brings healing.  We can’t be creative if we spend all of our time online, gaming, or multi-tasking.  Remember what you enjoy doing that is creative and start doing it again, or find something that you would enjoy doing, and try it.  Work with your hands, and think creatively again.

Use your mind to think....anhedonia takes away our critical thinking.  We have great minds, let’s start using them to think and reason. 

Lastly, I recommend reading Dr. Hart’s book Thrilled to Death: How the Endless Pursuit of Pleasure Is Leaving Us Numb.  He provides many more insights into this epidemic, and how to heal and overcome anhedonia.  

Need help with this issue?  Please contact me at respirelifecoach@gmail.com.

What's Your Excuse?

What's your excuse for not playing once in awhile? It's summer, have fun, and make memories!

Your Legacy

What legacy is most important  to you that you leave-possessions and money or love and time?  

One matters.  One doesn't.  

Random Acts Of Kindness

When is the last time you did a random act of kindness? It will not only bless those you give to, but it will bless you. Involve your kids, grandkids, neighbor kids, nieces, nephews, friends and teach kids about kindness & unselfish giving while you do this. 



I am issuing a challenge for the rest of the summer, approximately 13 weeks, to think of RAOK (random acts of kindness) and to implement at least one a week. I will post some ideas, please join me in posting your ideas & results.

Priorities In Life

We spend too much time trying to keep up, with everything, everyone, and social media. 

Our lives move very fast. 

Too fast. 

When we give in to keeping up with the world and the speed it moves at, we lose a lot. 

We lose precious moments that can never be recaptured.

We lose memories that can never be relived.

We lose the ability to have meaningful conversations, face to face. 

We lose relationships. We forget that real life friendships matter.

We lose joy. 

We lose hope. 

We forget that people matter because the tasks of busyness take over.

Take time to disconnect, slow down, and say no, to say yes to what really matters in life.

Weekend Challenge

Long weekend ahead. 

Disconnect from technology and enjoy your family & friends. 

Go outside, experience nature. 

Go for a walk, have face to face conversations, make precious memories. 

Life is short, so live every moment out without regrets. 


At the end of your life, you will not wish you had spent more time on social media, watching TV, or playing video games. 

LIFE IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, spend time with people face to face and build real relationships.

Advice From A Friend

The following is advice from a friend of ours, only in his early 40's, who is in a battle with ALS:


"Don't spend your day tied up with electronics. Go out and see the beauty of nature! Unplug and enjoy the moments."



"Your family deserves the best you, you can be."

"Never miss a chance to laugh or say I'm sorry.  Never hold back your tears, they are cleansing. Never ever miss a chance to say I love you."

"Life is full of choices. For instance: my prognosis is death but I see it as an ETA. It's all in how you view it. You have to make a choice!"



Live each moment of your life, don't waste it on electronics.  Love deeply.  Laugh.  Forgive.  Apologize.  Don't take one moment of life, family, faith for granted.  

Live Every Moment

Live every moment. 

Enjoy life. 

Forgive. 

Be kind. 

Build memories. 

Laugh. 

Hug. 

Give. 

Be known for the beauty that comes from within, because your character is what is truly important. 

Share life with others. 

Try something new. 

Live without regrets because life is very short, and it is a sweet, precious gift.

Be Thankful and Take Nothing For Granted

Give thanks and take absolutely nothing for granted!

The Voices In Your Head

Which voices are you paying the closest attention to today?  Take time to listen to what God has to say.  Also, take intentional time to listen to your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends.  Moments and words are precious, don't take them for granted.  Once they are gone, they are gone.  

Disconnect. 

Reconnect.  

Screen Time

Would your marriage relationship improve if you and your spouse unplugged from your devices more often?

Great article, please follow the link to read it. Even if you aren't married, it applies to all relationships:  
http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2014/03/screen-time-robbing-marriage

Love The Ones Your With

Make a difference...

Give true love  & love fully those

in your life.


  Whether it’s your spouse, friends, 

siblings, parents, family members, or 

children – 

let them know you love them.

We can become so comfortable in their 

presence, we can treat the ones we love 

with less respect than we would a 

complete stranger. 

What can you do today to let those 

special ones in your life know they’re 

appreciated and 

most importantly, loved?

Improve Your Life By Identifying Your Core Values

Do you know what your core values in life are?  Do you live by those values?  Are your decisions guided by those values?  Do your relationships reflect those values?

Core values help us to know what is important in life, what drives us.  If our actions do not line up with our value system, we can experience stress, lack of focus, confusion, and miss out on our purpose in life. 

Have you identified your top core values?  You can't live by your core values if you have not identified them.  Start by identifying your top 10 values.  Write that list down, then set it aside for a couple days.  Pay close attention over a week time frame as to what really is important to you.  Revisit your list and see if the top 10 values you chose are truly your how you live your life.  If your list needs a realignment, then make it.  Once you do that, then narrow it down to your top 5.  These should be the things that shape your decisions and how you live your life.  

One question you can ask yourself to focus on if you are aligned with your values is this: Do my actions, my schedule, and where my money is spent reflect the values I say are most important to me?

Here is a list to begin with.  There are many other values that could be added to this, but this is a start:

Appreciation   Accountability   Artistic    Authenticity    Accomplishment   Achievement   Adventure  Belonging   Beauty   Building    Being in Control   Bold    Caution   Career    Changing the World    Compassion   Creativity    Calm   Community   Creation  Competence   Collaboration    Communicating     Competitive   Consistency    Cherish  Cleanliness   Considerate   Confident   Challenge  Cheerful   Clear-minded    Diversity    Diligence    Dedication    Devotion   Determined   Dynamic   Excitement   Education   Efficiency    Encouragement     Excellence   Ethical   Enjoyment  Enthusiasm  Explore  Expertise    Family      Faithfulness   Fun    Freedom    Forgiveness      Faith    Financial    Forward Thinking     Frugal       Fulfillment      Fair    Fitness   Flexible   Gentleness   Gain   Giving   Genuineness    Goodness   Growth    God   Generous   Gracious   Honesty    Hard Working    Humility     Humor    Health   Happy    Help     Integrity    Impact Others   Influence   Inspiring   Independent   Intelligence   Joy   Kindness   Love     Loyal    Love of Learning   Life   Leadership   Marriage      Mentoring    Make a Difference  Nurturing      Obedience     Orderliness     Optimistic   Patience    Peace   Perfection    Performance-Driven    Persistence   Power     Physical     Productive    Purity   Passionate     Positive    Quality   Quiet    Respect    Risk Taking       Relationships    Recognition   Relaxation   Respect for Others     Resourceful   Security      Self-esteem      Self-expression   Sensitivity    Servanthood     Service     Silence   Sincere    Solitude     Self-control   Spiritual    Stability     Success    Safety    Serenity  Simplicity  Spontaneous   Structure   Support     Strength   Temperance         Tolerance     Tranquility   Trust     Truth      Trustworthy   Timely     Thoughtful    Teamwork    Uniqueness    Useful     Vitality    Vision  Winning     Worship      Wisdom 

Ask this as you work to narrow the list to five....do I appreciate this value?  Does this value truly reflect my character?  Do I enjoy this more than other things?  

Once you identify your top 5 values, what are some key action steps you can take to make very clear boundaries around your values?   How will those boundaries impact the life you live and how you treat others?  

Christmas Challenge

Christmas weekend is upon us.  I would like to issue a challenge for all of us from now through Christmas night: disengage from social media, engage in real relationships.  Disengage from staring at a screen, engage in staring at loved ones faces, because you don't know when this will be the last Christmas you are together.  A friend of mine buried both of her parents in the past six months.  I know she doesn't wish she had a few more moments this past year that she could have spent on Facebook or Pinterest.  No, she wishes for a few more precious moments with her parents, to hug them, and tell them she loves them.  She did plenty of it while they were alive, but as she said "can we ever really tell those we treasure in our lives that we love them enough?  Can we ever really spend too much time with those who are precious to us?" REAL relationships matter.  

Disengage from playing online, virtual games and engage in real relationships by playing a card or board game. Laugh together, have meaningful conversations, give hugs, go for a walk, enjoy life.  Be thankful. See the beauty that surrounds you in creation, in people.  

REAL people, REAL relationships are what matter.  Take the next few days to deeply invest in real relationships, face to face.  

Merry Christmas!

Don't Waste A Moment

Don't waste your life. 

Spend time with those you love, and love them deeply.

Life can change very quickly, so take time to truly love those in your life.