Pause Where You Are

Busyness Is Not a Destination

I began a new women's study group last night.  Our leader brought up how we get so busy.  We all agreed.  Then she brought up how the majority of the miracles Jesus performed would not have taken place if he would have lived at our pace.  He would have been too busy.  He wouldn't have felt the woman touch his robe, as she longed to be healed.  He would have just kept rushing through the crowd, going about his own business.  Instead, he stopped, looked at her, cared for her, and healed her.  

How often do we rush by someone who is bleeding, whether figuratively or physically, because we are too busy?  We have schedules to keep, things to do, Facebook to check.  

How often are we the ones who need healing, who need to just stop and rest, rest at our Savior's feet, but we don't create a pause, white space, time in our schedule to be still, rest, and get restored?  We keep running and running, until we fall down exhausted.  Sometimes we are truly very busy.  Sometimes, we stay busy to avoid the hurt, the problems, the grief in our lives because if we stay busy, we don't have to think about it, or deal with it, we just keep running.  Exhausted.  Empty.  Yet, we run.  

I am just as guilty of this at times in my life as anyone.  I have been running at a pretty high pace lately with work, family events, basketball games, life in general.  I realized last week how fast I have been going, and have taken a couple days to intentionally slow down, rest, disconnect from social media.  

If we did an honest evaluation of our time, many of us would see we spend much too much time on social media, whether it's Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or playing games, we spend too much time there, often longing to connect with someone.  What if we took that time and called someone on the phone and made plans to meet at a coffee shop or go to lunch or for a walk, and found out how that person is doing face to face?  We long for community, but true community cannot be found online.  True community means being intentional, intentionally being with people face to face in a real relationship.  Real relationships are messy, but they are also beautiful.  When is the last time you took a couple hours and sat with someone and spoke to them in person?  

We all need to pause, we all need community.  We need to not be so busy that we miss those who are reaching out to us, who need an encouraging word, who need someone just to notice them.  

Each of us needs to intentionally create downtime in our schedules.  Time to be quiet, to read, to rest, to pray, to listen.  

What will you eliminate that is not so important, to slow down?  What will you do to connect face to face with someone and truly care about them?  Can you walk away from social media for the weekend and connect with real people, connect with yourself, connect with your Creator?  

Life Is Happening....Disconnect!

3 out of 5 people admitted they spend more time on their cell phones than with their significant others. Do you really need to be on your phone while with them, too? If you haven’t turned off your phone and spent time with your significant other for awhile, pledge to go electronics-free for a night. Your relationship will thank you.

I was at dinner with my husband the other night, we chose to leave our phones in the car. I glanced around the restaurant and 9 out of 10 people were on their phones, playing games, checking FB, tweeting. All had either their significant other, friend, or child with them. Very few looked away from their phones. Very few had real conversations. Only a handful put their phones down long enough to order. Real relationships matter. Real conversations matter! Choose to put your phones away and invest in face to face real conversations.

Take Time To Pursue Quiet Times

Unplug

Unplug this weekend. 

Spend time with family, enjoy the Fall colors, read a book, talk to someone face to face. 

Take a break from continual connection.

Enjoy The Little Things

The leaves are changing, enjoy the beauty.  Watch a sunset.  Take some time to enjoy the little blessings in life.  

Rehydrate Your Soul

Take some time away from your phone, TV, computer, and just be quiet. It's good to rehydrate your soul.

Making Changes

A week ago, I removed Facebook from my phone. It was strange at first, but it was the best decision I have made in awhile. I check my personal FB page maybe once a day now. Honestly, I don't really miss it. I do realize how much time FB can take away from my day, and those are precious moments I cannot get back to live life on purpose, to love those around me, to help someone, and to have face to face conversations. 

What Is chaining you down, taking too much of your time away from living your life purpose out? What steps can you take this week to change that habit?

7 Signs You're Spending Too Much Time Looking At Your Phone

What other signs can  you add to this list?  Keep an eye on your social media time, and make sure to put real life, real relationships ahead of your phone/tablet time.  

7 Signs You’re Spending Too Much Time Looking at Your Phone

A few warning signs that are not to be ignored.

Jesse Carey is a contributing editor to RELEVANT and a mainstay on the weekly RELEVANT podcast. He's also a really funny guy, as evidenced by his Twitter account.

When the entire world is at your fingertips, the temptation to never let it out of your sight is understandable.

Life-altering online advancements like GPS location software, social media connections, Candy Crush and an unending supply of Fail GIFs are available to us whenever we want, wherever we want. It’s an amazing time to be alive when anyone can watch this “Thanks Obama” clip on an endless loop while they wait in line at Starbucks.

Recent research has confirmed that cell phone “addiction” is actually a real thing. Professionals have even devised methods of determining if you suffer from a psychological condition that warrants actual medical intervention (symptoms include: reduction of competing behaviors, engaging in the behavior despite risks and negative consequences, withdrawal, etc.). But even if you’re not neurologically dependent on playing Kim Kardashian’s iPhone game for a few moments while you’re pumping gas, there still may be ways to determine that you are spending too much time looking at your phone.

Here’s a list to help.

1. You Look at Your Phone While You’re Bored at Church.

Even the best pastors have off days. And, let’s just be honest here, it’s easy to let your mind drift on Sunday mornings from time-to-time. But a sermon is no time to be checking Twitter. That’s what announcement time is for.

2. You Use Your Phone as a Crutch in Socially Awkward Situations.

We’ve all been there: You show up at a party before the rest of your friends, and you don’t know anybody. Instead of attempting to meet new friends, you pull out your phone and pretend you are texting someone something REALLY important. Next time, try keeping the phone in your pocket and do what they did in the old days—mingle.

3. All of Your Alone Time is Spent on Your Phone.

If every moment of solitude, waiting at a restaurant, bathroom break or evenings by yourself is filled with browsing the Internet or playing phone games, you may want to cut back.

4. You Consistently Have ZERO New Items in Your Facebook Newsfeed.

Yup, you’re checking Facebook too much.

5. It’s the Last Thing You See Before Bed, and the First Thing You Look in the Morning.

Besides avoiding some negative health effects, it’s probably a good practice to give yourself a little time before bed and when you wake up before checking your email. Pray, talk to your spouse, read—whatever you do, stay unplugged for a few minutes and enjoy some moments of non-digital life.

6. You Check for Social Media Updates at Traffic Lights.

If every red light is simply an excuse to look at something on your phone, you are walking the (literally) dangerous tightrope of texting and driving. Trust us, that’s never a good idea.

7. Airplane Mode Induces Anxiety.

If a flight attendant asks that you place your phone in airplane mode, and you consider defying FAA regulations so as not to end a text conversation, miss a Twitter update or continue to play an online game, you might have a problem.

Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/7-signs-you%E2%80%99re-spending-too-much-time-looking-your-phone#IspwTP800G0bt7XQ.99

What Do You Need This Week?

What do you need this week? Rest, peace, to overcome, to be bold, boundaries, to leave fear behind, to disconnect from technology to reconnect with reality, balance, fun, laughter, family time, to let worry go, ..............? In the next week, work on it, intentionally, and see what changes you can make in a week. You have to take that first step to begin any type of change. 

This week, I need boundaries, and I have been setting them today. Life has been out of control busy and I need to take a step back, realign a few things, and say no to a few other things. I will report in next week on how well I stuck with them. 

Please share what you will work on this week.

Screen Disease

Make the time with your family a time actually WITH your family, not electronics. 

Disconnect when you are  together.

Anhedonia Epidemic

Can you lay your phone, iPod, tablet down for more than a few minutes?  Do you have to be continually checking your social media sites?  Do you need constant connection and noise?  Do you get easily bored?  Do you lack energy and motivation?  Can you be self absorbed, placing yourself before your family?  Do you lack critical constructive and creative thinking abilities?  Does it seem that your level of entertainment and excitement constantly needs to be at a higher level to keep peace in your home?  Do things that used to interest you no longer interest you?  Does your family face a critical level of boredom?  

There is a cause to these problems.  It is a condition that is running at epidemic levels in our society. It is called Anhedonia.  

I first learned of anhedonia two years ago when I took an online class from Dr. Archibald Hart.  He wrote a book called Thrilled to Death.  I would highly recommend this book to nearly everyone.  

Anhedonia is deeply affecting our society, our home lives, and our relationships.  Anhedonia is a destruction of the pleasure center in the brain that doesn’t allow a person to experience pleasure or happiness from the things of life that should bring us happiness and pleasure.

Anhedonia is now an epidemic level in our society because we think we need to be constantly connected, doing numerous things at once, and the need to be continually entertained.  Dr. Archibald Hart states that anhedonia affects at least 80% of the American public. 

Our need to be continually connected and always filling our brains with information, excitement, and images, is destroying the creative and critical thinking parts of our brain.  We lose our ability to have constructive thoughts, so much that we cannot think for ourselves but rely on the internet and social media for the ‘facts’ to base our decisions off.  We have lost the desire to think for ourselves, figure out situations and problems with critical thinking, and we often do not think through situations but go off what is popular on our social networking sites.  Unfortunately, for the most part, our feeding off of continual connection to electronic devices has stopped our rational thinking.  People think it is ok to threaten other people because they don't agree with them, and social media has escalated this new form of bullying.  

Our brains were not designed to be continually in motion. Our brains need rest.  They need relaxation.  They need to disconnect.  

“Today, we are certainly more informed as a people–more than any time in history. However, we are losing our ability to do anything productive with the information we have acquired, because of our propensity for pleasure-seeking activities–opportunities proliferated by growing numbers of digital devices.  It’s really like any other addiction.” ~Philip Telfer from his documentary “Captivated”

What are the affects of anhedonia?  We are a society that is stressed out, tense, on edge, unhappy, depressed, self-centered, disconnected, who has lost the ability to enjoy the simple things of life.  Think about these questions and answer them honestly:

When is the last time you sat down with your family and had a meal together at the table without continually checking your phones, or having music or the TV on?  

When is the last time you just sat at a lake and listened to the water, the birds, and observed all the nature around you and enjoyed the quiet?

When is the last time you  turned your phone and electronics off, and just truly relaxed?  Can you do that without wondering what’s happening on your social media sites?  

When is the last time you sat and talked with a friend without checking your phone every few minutes?  

When is the last time you went for a walk, without headphones in your ears?  

When is the last time you spent time just talking face to face with your kids or your spouse, all electronics turned off?  

When is the last time you felt real happiness and joy, and didn’t feel you were missing out on something or needing more to be happy?  

When is the last time you enjoyed a book, writing, photography, painting, drawing, something creative without a form of electronics involved, or next to you? 

If you are easily bored, have lost your creative edge, have a difficult time discerning right and wrong, feel numb emotionally, are overwhelmed with sadness, need to continually be connected to your phone or the internet, have lost interest in things you used to enjoy, don’t enjoy affection and have strained relationships, you are dealing with anhedonia.  

There are ways to overcome it, if you want to get your life back.  

First and most important, intentionally disconnect.  Take more time in your day to enjoy relationships, resting, and quiet time than you do on your phone, texting, and social media sites.  Enjoy real life, not a virtual life.  Play basketball with your kids, not a game on your phone.  Talk, in person, face to face, and build real, intentional relationships.  

Second, make sure to intentionally be quiet, rest, relax.  Our bodies and minds were not designed to go at the pace we force them to go.  Find ways to relax your body and your mind. 

Third, be creative.  Creativity brings healing.  We can’t be creative if we spend all of our time online, gaming, or multi-tasking.  Remember what you enjoy doing that is creative and start doing it again, or find something that you would enjoy doing, and try it.  Work with your hands, and think creatively again.

Use your mind to think....anhedonia takes away our critical thinking.  We have great minds, let’s start using them to think and reason. 

Lastly, I recommend reading Dr. Hart’s book Thrilled to Death: How the Endless Pursuit of Pleasure Is Leaving Us Numb.  He provides many more insights into this epidemic, and how to heal and overcome anhedonia.  

Need help with this issue?  Please contact me at respirelifecoach@gmail.com.

Friendship Challenge

TODAY’S CHALLENGE:  Do a Facebook audit.  Are there so-called friends in your feed who are driving you crazy or causing you stress?  Unfriend them.  Remove yourself from groups you’re not interested in, unlike any pages you are no longer interested in, and challenge yourself to only be on Facebook for 10-15 minutes a day!  Set a timer if you need to.  

Now, spend some time thinking about the people in your real-life circle.  Think of two people that you care about and respect that you’d like to cultivate deeper friendships with, and write them down.   Pray for that person, invite them for coffee, send notes of encouragement or short texts or emails.

Make your real life circle, your real life relationships much more important than your online circles.  

Do You See It?

Stop.  

Put your phone or tablet down.  

Step outside.  

Take a deep breath.  

Now, look around.  

Do you see it?  

Do you see the flowers, the clouds, the green grass, maybe a butterfly or bird flying by?  

Don't miss the beauty that surrounds you, everyday. 

Relax.  

Take it in, and let the stress of life go as you breathe in the simple, yet oh so complex, 
beauty of creation.  

Priorities In Life

We spend too much time trying to keep up, with everything, everyone, and social media. 

Our lives move very fast. 

Too fast. 

When we give in to keeping up with the world and the speed it moves at, we lose a lot. 

We lose precious moments that can never be recaptured.

We lose memories that can never be relived.

We lose the ability to have meaningful conversations, face to face. 

We lose relationships. We forget that real life friendships matter.

We lose joy. 

We lose hope. 

We forget that people matter because the tasks of busyness take over.

Take time to disconnect, slow down, and say no, to say yes to what really matters in life.

Weekend Challenge

Long weekend ahead. 

Disconnect from technology and enjoy your family & friends. 

Go outside, experience nature. 

Go for a walk, have face to face conversations, make precious memories. 

Life is short, so live every moment out without regrets. 


At the end of your life, you will not wish you had spent more time on social media, watching TV, or playing video games. 

LIFE IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, spend time with people face to face and build real relationships.

Advice From A Friend

The following is advice from a friend of ours, only in his early 40's, who is in a battle with ALS:


"Don't spend your day tied up with electronics. Go out and see the beauty of nature! Unplug and enjoy the moments."



"Your family deserves the best you, you can be."

"Never miss a chance to laugh or say I'm sorry.  Never hold back your tears, they are cleansing. Never ever miss a chance to say I love you."

"Life is full of choices. For instance: my prognosis is death but I see it as an ETA. It's all in how you view it. You have to make a choice!"



Live each moment of your life, don't waste it on electronics.  Love deeply.  Laugh.  Forgive.  Apologize.  Don't take one moment of life, family, faith for granted.  

Weekend Challenge

Weekend challenge: Enjoy something of nature this weekend....a walk outside; listen to the birds sing; go sit by a lake, river, stream, or ocean and just be quiet; take in a sunrise and/or sunset; go geocaching; take a bike ride.

While taking in nature, leave your phone and electronic devices alone! Turn them off, don't take them with you. Experience REAL LIFE, not virtual life. 

If you take the challenge, share here what you did.

The Voices In Your Head

Which voices are you paying the closest attention to today?  Take time to listen to what God has to say.  Also, take intentional time to listen to your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends.  Moments and words are precious, don't take them for granted.  Once they are gone, they are gone.  

Disconnect. 

Reconnect.  

Screen Time

Would your marriage relationship improve if you and your spouse unplugged from your devices more often?

Great article, please follow the link to read it. Even if you aren't married, it applies to all relationships:  
http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2014/03/screen-time-robbing-marriage