Respire Life Coaching-Connie Lloyd: July 2014

Thursday, July 31, 2014

What Do You Need This Week?

What do you need this week? Rest, peace, to overcome, to be bold, boundaries, to leave fear behind, to disconnect from technology to reconnect with reality, balance, fun, laughter, family time, to let worry go, ..............? In the next week, work on it, intentionally, and see what changes you can make in a week. You have to take that first step to begin any type of change.

This week, I need boundaries, and I have been setting them today. Life has been out of control busy and I need to take a step back, realign a few things, and say no to a few other things. I will report in next week on how well I stuck with them.

Please share what you will work on this week.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Do You Need A Course Adjustment?

What have you done to reach out and help someone today? How about in the past week? If you can't answer, it may be time to make some adjustments in your life.

Life is about helping others, giving, and caring about others.

Don't let the hardness of some people's hearts keep you from being kind, compassionate, and giving. Model kindness and love to others, stand out, stand up, and show you care.

Take time to look in people's eyes, listen to their story, and stop long enough to care. You can make a difference if you look around, be aware, and do something to change the world for the better. It truly does matter.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Anhedonia Epidemic

Can you lay your phone, iPod, tablet down for more than a few minutes? Do you have to be continually checking your social media sites? Do you need constant connection and noise? Do you get easily bored? Do you lack energy and motivation? Can you be self absorbed, placing yourself before your family? Do you lack critical constructive and creative thinking abilities? Does it seem that your level of entertainment and excitement constantly needs to be at a higher level to keep peace in your home? Do things that used to interest you no longer interest you? Does your family face a critical level of boredom?

There is a cause to these problems. It is a condition that is running at epidemic levels in our society. It is called Anhedonia.

I first learned of anhedonia two years ago when I took an online class from Dr. Archibald Hart. He wrote a book called Thrilled to Death. I would highly recommend this book to nearly everyone.

Anhedonia is deeply affecting our society, our home lives, and our relationships. Anhedonia is a destruction of the pleasure center in the brain that doesn’t allow a person to experience pleasure or happiness from the things of life that should bring us happiness and pleasure.

Anhedonia is now an epidemic level in our society because we think we need to be constantly connected, doing numerous things at once, and the need to be continually entertained. Dr. Archibald Hart states that anhedonia affects at least 80% of the American public.

Our need to be continually connected and always filling our brains with information, excitement, and images, is destroying the creative and critical thinking parts of our brain. We lose our ability to have constructive thoughts, so much that we cannot think for ourselves but rely on the internet and social media for the ‘facts’ to base our decisions off. We have lost the desire to think for ourselves, figure out situations and problems with critical thinking, and we often do not think through situations but go off what is popular on our social networking sites. Unfortunately, for the most part, our feeding off of continual connection to electronic devices has stopped our rational thinking. People think it is ok to threaten other people because they don't agree with them, and social media has escalated this new form of bullying.

Our brains were not designed to be continually in motion. Our brains need rest. They need relaxation. They need to disconnect.

“Today, we are certainly more informed as a people–more than any time in history. However, we are losing our ability to do anything productive with the information we have acquired, because of our propensity for pleasure-seeking activities–opportunities proliferated by growing numbers of digital devices. It’s really like any other addiction.” ~Philip Telfer from his documentary “Captivated”

What are the affects of anhedonia? We are a society that is stressed out, tense, on edge, unhappy, depressed, self-centered, disconnected, who has lost the ability to enjoy the simple things of life. Think about these questions and answer them honestly:

When is the last time you sat down with your family and had a meal together at the table without continually checking your phones, or having music or the TV on?

When is the last time you just sat at a lake and listened to the water, the birds, and observed all the nature around you and enjoyed the quiet?

When is the last time you turned your phone and electronics off, and just truly relaxed? Can you do that without wondering what’s happening on your social media sites?

When is the last time you sat and talked with a friend without checking your phone every few minutes?

When is the last time you went for a walk, without headphones in your ears?

When is the last time you spent time just talking face to face with your kids or your spouse, all electronics turned off?

When is the last time you felt real happiness and joy, and didn’t feel you were missing out on something or needing more to be happy?

When is the last time you enjoyed a book, writing, photography, painting, drawing, something creative without a form of electronics involved, or next to you?

If you are easily bored, have lost your creative edge, have a difficult time discerning right and wrong, feel numb emotionally, are overwhelmed with sadness, need to continually be connected to your phone or the internet, have lost interest in things you used to enjoy, don’t enjoy affection and have strained relationships, you are dealing with anhedonia.

There are ways to overcome it, if you want to get your life back.

First and most important, intentionally disconnect. Take more time in your day to enjoy relationships, resting, and quiet time than you do on your phone, texting, and social media sites. Enjoy real life, not a virtual life. Play basketball with your kids, not a game on your phone. Talk, in person, face to face, and build real, intentional relationships.

Second, make sure to intentionally be quiet, rest, relax. Our bodies and minds were not designed to go at the pace we force them to go. Find ways to relax your body and your mind.

Third, be creative. Creativity brings healing. We can’t be creative if we spend all of our time online, gaming, or multi-tasking. Remember what you enjoy doing that is creative and start doing it again, or find something that you would enjoy doing, and try it. Work with your hands, and think creatively again.

Use your mind to think....anhedonia takes away our critical thinking. We have great minds, let’s start using them to think and reason.

Lastly, I recommend reading Dr. Hart’s book Thrilled to Death: How the Endless Pursuit of Pleasure Is Leaving Us Numb. He provides many more insights into this epidemic, and how to heal and overcome anhedonia.

Need help with this issue? Please contact me at respirelifecoach@gmail.com.